Bluffing

I’m not referring to your skills in playing cards here, rather a different form of bluffing when it comes to hearing and communication. We’ve all been there – we are sitting at a family dinner, in a crowded restaurant, or large social gathering. A joke is made, and everyone laughs, but you didn’t get the punch line. On the spot, you quickly put on a smile, and let out a small chuckle – not to bring attention to you. While it is true that these situations occur for most of the general population, they tend to be much more frequent for individuals with hearing loss. Many professionals in the hearing health care industry refer to this behavior as “bluffing”. In situations where a person cannot hear what is being said, but do not speak up about it, pretend to hear and comprehend, or try to “go with the flow”, they are doing themselves and their conversation partners a disservice. It may seem innocent, but bluffing gets you nowhere.

Bluffing with hearing loss can occur in several different forms. The first is as I mentioned above – when you pretend to hear what is being said in conversation so as not to bring attention to yourself or your hearing loss. This is detrimental to yourself as well as your conversation partners as you are not actively participating in the social environment. You may come across as being rude or as if you are ignoring someone, you may give inappropriate responses to questions, or make a comment that doesn’t apply. You may be present, but you are not actively engaged. Everyone misses parts of conversation from time to time, and in those circumstances, it is acceptable to ask for repetition. There are many different ways to ask for repetition as well; you may ask someone to rephrase their comment, or you may yourself repeat the part you heard and ask for clarification. If you happen to get to the point where you are asking every person to repeat, then it is time you seek assistance. Have your hearing tested, have your hearing devices adjusted, or consider making the leap and trying hearing aids for the first time.

The second is when you bluff that you have no hearing loss at all (aka denial). If you find yourself frequently missing parts of conversation, if your family members comment that you are not hearing them, or if you feel that “everyone mumbles these days”, chances are you may have some degree of hearing loss. In fact, you are certainly not alone in having hearing related difficulties. According to Statistics Canada (2002), more than one million Canadian adults have hearing loss, which in more than 50% greater than the number of adult Canadians with vision loss. When you consider these values, why is it that many people pretend to hear “fine”, however they have no issue admitting vision related problems and wearing glasses or bifocals? I think people have the perception that it’s “easy” to give the illusion that you are hearing – you smile, you nod, you laugh when everyone else laughs. If you are one of these “bluffers” however, you know that it is exhausting! You come home at the end of a social gathering very tired from the extra energy you used trying to appear as part of the group. You may find yourself leaving these social gathering early, or neglecting to attend altogether as you are simply to tired to put in the extra effort needed to fit in. If you are in this situation, please see an audiologist as soon as you can. We are here to help you, we want you to have a social lifestyle, to be connected to your family and friends, and we don’t want you to struggle to hear them. There is relief available, in the form of hearing aids and other devices. The first step is acceptance, then we can start to access your hearing abilities, and work with you individually.

The third is bluffing to your hearing health care provider or Audiologist. I have seen this many times during the fitting and follow up service of hearing aids. The patient is sitting in the chair, I ask how everything sounds, if they have had any trouble with the hearing aids, are the aids comfortable, are they happy with them. While many patients do offer their criticisms, which allow me to tweak the hearing aids appropriately, many others will simply say that “everything is fine” when in reality, they may be having trouble hearing on the phone, certain sounds may sound ‘off’, or the hearing aid may be uncomfortable. The reasons for bluffing in this situation may be that they do not want to be a difficult patient, they don’t think the problem is of big concern and feel they can get over it, or they have had poor success with hearing aids in the past and feel their problems cannot be solved. The truth is that you need to be candid with your audiologist. The successful use of hearing aids depends on proper programming and adjustment of the hearing aid, which often times take several adjustment sessions to get it right. If you’ve read any of the previous articles by audiologist Trevor, you should know by now to have selected a hearing health care provider that you trust and are comfortable talking with. In doing so, you should have no reason not to discuss problems you have been having with the fit, comfort or sound of the hearing aids. We want your feedback, you are not being difficult or causing trouble, and you are essentially making our job worthwhile as we enjoy the challenge and eventual success of the hearing aid fitting. Finally, while hearing aids of the past were often difficult to work with in terms of its capabilities, most of today’s hearing instruments are very sophisticated, and we very rarely run into a problem that cannot be solved. It is your hearing loss, your hearing aids, and your responsibility to tell your audiologist when something isn’t right – after all we are the only ones who can help solve the issue. We want you wearing the hearing device, happily and successfully.